Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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