The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
