You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
