i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
