TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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