Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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