She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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