I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
