dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
