This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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