the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
