..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
