omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
