1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
