I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
