Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize