you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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