I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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