My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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