THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
