OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
