I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
