you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my sisters under your porch take her home
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
