So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
