We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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