Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
