bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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