Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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