did you get engaged???
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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