My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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