Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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