just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
