I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
