yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I can't turn off my feet"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
