YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
