why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
