is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Of course I have a pirate flag
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
