Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
