Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
