He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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