I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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