where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
