Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
someone threw a dead crab at me
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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