Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
