U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize