Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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