You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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