Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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