You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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