So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
