I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
