This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
