I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
