i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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