I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
where are my eyebrows?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
