Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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