when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
