Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
