Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize