but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
