the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
