I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
