Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize