Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
