yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
