Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
